And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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