last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
