So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
