if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
