i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
