is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
