your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
