This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
