the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
