I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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