IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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