I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
