Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
