he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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