And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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