remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
