i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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