And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
