Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
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I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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