Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
