in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
are you so shy because you have an std?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
