You made me cry and you don't even care
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
