Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
