I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
