Pappa wants mamma naked
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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