i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
