this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
