and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
i now understand why vodka
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
