I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
