It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
