My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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