There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
