She's JV to your varsity
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
