If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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