Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
false alarm, still single
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