yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
