youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
