you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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