I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
