Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
