Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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