Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
