I wish I only lived at night.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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