i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cut my penus on the lid.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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