You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This is classic penis vs brain.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
