i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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