Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
