I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
