It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
