when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize