I need help removing her.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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