you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Still dying that you shit outside
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
