My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Randomize
