don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
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