I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize