He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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