His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
