Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.