I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??