The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
