my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize