the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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