I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
