why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
